ALM

MESSY PARENTING IS JUST INEXCUSABLE

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For those of us who are parents, it is imperative that we conduct our affairs in a way that is healthy, especially in front of our children.

Life can get complicated but good parents shield the complicated view from their kids.

I know a man who was leaving his wife and already in his new relationship, and accidentally would text messages to his oldest son that were intended for his woman.

Can you image how this child felt reading “Hey, baby. Good morning. Can’t wait to see you tonight. I miss you” as his step mom was crawling out of the bed she shared with his father? Or “Baby, I love your chocolate brown skin and his wife’s skin is far from chocolate brown?

This man is so selfish and out of control that he fails to conduct his personal affairs in a responsible way.

I am aware of another account of a woman who was dating with daughters. She often entertained her male suitors within their eargate. No child and I mean no child wants to hear a parents encounter with a new boo or an old boo for that matter.

These girls had a distaste in their mouth for their mother’s company and rightfully so. Her lack of self respect has echoed through their beings and manifested in their lives. They now struggle to maintain healthy relationships and proper boundaries.

I know of another man who ended a relationship with one woman and was in love with another woman the next month and thought he was going to parade his foolishness in front of his impressionable 9 year old daughter. Her mom had enough sense to shut him down in Grand fashion.

A bad example is a bad example and will replay in the lives of children like a CD stuck on repeat.

It really saddens me to know that selfish parents have sown seeds of discord, mistrust, irresponsibility and shame into the lives of their children.

Shame that unfortunately shows up in the lives of kids as addiction (gaming, drugs, food, alcohol, etc).

If you are a messy parent, in love I want to admonish you to get your shit together. Acknowledge your missteps, mishaps and misdeeds. Repent to your children, ask them to forgive you and acknowledge how your messiness has created mess in their lives.

Accept the consequences of your behavior and whatever fall out they may be experiencing.

Apples don’t fall too far from trees and contrary to some beliefs, apples don’t roll.

Responsible adults we have a role and that is to provide support and encouragement to these children and young people. God knows they need someone to show them what adulthood looks like and what exceptional parenting is.

Be the voice of counsel, wisdom and set proper boundaries. Children are always learning…always.

And for the sake of your children, do not ever and I mean ever allow them to be in the company of Messy Adults. If they have pissed all over their kids, trust me when I tell you that they won’t hesitate in using yours as a toilet.

Rough but Real.

– D.L.P.

All About Auspicious Living

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